Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dongs Household, Day 1

Sims 3 came out yesterday, and after a long download that got stopped a couple times, I finally managed to get it down and installed. It really makes you mad that legally getting a game from an online source is so much slower than just pirating it would be, but it is installed now, and I have created the family and played their first day. I also evicted every single other person from their houses, so I hopefully won't have to see their ugly faces around.

With that exciting introduction out of the way, check out the first in-game day of Sims 3 and meet the sims that represent you and the other internet people.

I apologize for the first 2 screenshots being so dark, I started with Zscreen because of the ability to take cropped screenshots, but it took them very dark. Luckily I checked to see how they looked before too long, but I did miss out the first 2 pictures being visible. Also, I am still trying to figure out how to make large pictures show up right, so they will all be thumbnailed. If a picture is too small to see, click it!

On the top row, from left to right is: JohnnyRoast Beef (JRB hereafter), Zach Dongs, Tiim Dongs (no relation to Zach), Alderaan Deathstar'd (it is a Star Wars joke, you see!), HonestAbe Butts, Tanga Boner. On the lower row, the fat beardy ginger is of course MrGale Dicklick, and the one who looks like a gnome with progeria is SuperCalvin Sucksadick.

Get ready for an information dump, as I am going to tell you more about each of these lovely people!

JRB- An absent minded, easily impressed, friendly man who is often inappropriate and has a good sense of humor. His favorite music is indie rock, he loves the color orange, his favorite food is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and he has ambitions to be the leader of the free world.

Zach- An artistic bookworm, he loves the outdoors, and is a schmoozer. He also seems to share with one Tobias Funke (of Arrested Development, if you didn't get that reference right away, go to Hulu right now) the unfortunate disorder of being a never-nude. Zach loves the color violet, his favorite food is parfait, and when he listens to music, it is children's music.

Tiim- An ambitious bookworm, he is also a coward and a snob, and his disdain for all things water-related makes him quite the hydrophobic. His favorite food is lobster thermidor, his favorite music is classical, and his favorite color is white.

Alderaan- An ambitious, excitable woman, she is also a great kisser, hopeless romantic, and she has trouble staying asleep, waking at the slightest noise.

HonestAbe- Not a very nice man at all. He is a daredevil, evil, grumpy, and mean-spirited. The only things that bring joy to his black black soul are being mean, and fishing. His favorite food is salmon, his favorite color is hot pink, and of course Abe is well known for his love of electronica. All day Abe talks about how much he loves electronica. Abe's lifetime ambition is to be a criminal mastermind.

Tanga- She is a heavy sleeper who dislikes children, loves the outdoors, and is also a flirt and a great kisser. Her favorite food is Philly cheesesteaks, her favorite color is grey, and her favorite kind of music is latin music. I think that means salsa, but it well could be what the Romans rocked out to 2000 years ago. Her lifetime ambition is to be a heart-breaker, the girlfriend of 10 different people at once.

MrGale- Those of you in the know may notice that the usually skinny blond that is MrGale has turned into a fat, beardy ginger. He has become what he hated most of all. Anyhow, he is a flirty, charismatic, great kisser. He is also a schmoozer and he is mean-spirited. His favorite music is pop, his favorite food is cookies, and his favorite color is pink. His ambition, like Tanga is to be a heartbreaker.

SuperCalvin- a clumsy daredevil, he is charismatic and a party animal. Also, he is insane. He enjoys key lime pie, classical music, and the color lime. His ambition is to be super popular.

We move into the largest house we can afford, and I buy it fully furnished so that I don't have to mess around too much.

The downstairs. You'll notice there is no TV or computer, or even a bookshelf. The only thing that the household will have to entertain themselves for a while will be each other.

And the upstairs. We have room for 3 people to sleep right now, but I do some remodeling and get that up to room for 4 people, as well as getting the space to add in another couple beds soon.

unpausing, the first thing SuperCalvin did was make a face, disgusted with some lamp in the house. What a whiner.

Abe's first action is to insult Zach. Abe just is not a nice person.

Once inside, Abe insults Zach some more. In the background, Tiim and Gale get acquanted.

The job search system is a lot easier with this version. Every single career track is open from just the newspaper, you don't have to check the newspaper every single day to find something anymore. Anyhow, I get everyone a job in the track they want. The first priority will be to get enough money to get them beds.

I look upstairs and found Gale sneaking around.

He is quite the sneaky man.

JRB is apparently easily scared. Though really, if that big fat man snuck up on me and shouted, I might startle as well.

The chat system has also been improved, you can see what people are talking about, how good of friends they are, and what the other person thinks of the conversation right then. It is a pretty nice feature. Tiim thinks Zach is okay.

Abe is very angry with everyone, this is not news.

I caught Abe taking a shower fully clothed.

What important business do you have that needs to be done so quickly, Abe? Oh, you need to criticize Zach's family. Really though, they are pretty terrible, they made Zach.

Abe then insults bookworms, which if you can remember from about 5 minutes ago, Zach is. Abe really seems to like picking on Zach.

Tiim tries to use the bathroom, but as always in the sims, there is someone in there doing something that has nothing to do with the intended uses of a bathroom.

Abe insults Zach some more.

The wants system has also been changed, I will go into it more later, but Abe's want right now is to imply that someone's mother is a llama. That is harsh.


JRB and Tiim gossip about Gale. Probably about how I have made him a fat beardy ginger, but if not, what rumors can they possibly be talking about?

A terrible guilty secret? Tell me more!

That is quite the terrible guilty secret.

With only one sink to wash dishes and for some reason all of them wanting to wash their own plate, we get lots of pathing errors. Gale is also sneaking up to scare JRB again.

Alderaan is the first to go to bed. Don't worry, she only makes it about halfway into the night because everyone chooses that bedroom as the place to talk.

An hour after Alderaan goes to sleep, Zach calls it a night as well.

Tiim decides to sleep on the couch downstairs, and everyone else stands around all night because no one is good enough friends with anyone to share the remaining 2 spots on the 2 double beds.

Soon JRB strips down to his boxers for some reason.

What is making Abe so fiendishly happy?


Abe also has the want to be mean to SuperCalvin. Hasn't fate already delivered him a bad enough hand?

Abe also wants to take an EVIL shower.

But he cant because it is the Sims, so everyone is hanging out in the bathroom. Eventually everyone clears out and he takes his evil shower, it looked like a regular shower to me, but if Abe says it was evil, it must have been.

With dawn, the carpool for 2 of the sims comes and I call it quits for day one.

Next time on The Fermun Experience:

-Meet the neighbors! (it is more internet people, as all the default neighbors have been evicted)
-Watch in excitement as I use the first day's income to purchase more beds!

AND MORE! (probably not)
edit: the second house will be: Lee, Bakudai, bettytron, illiterati, omnilingua, DrShenanigans, Funk Messiah, and Snake Face

the third house is still filling up, but so far it is Broose, Ripper, Demha and Sev_Squad. Comment with what you want to look like and I will throw you in on this.


  1. I need to take an evil shower right now.

  2. Sweet Jesus I just laughed so godamn hard my coworker asked me if I was okay.

    Evil showers!